Diminutive Corner of My Mind

Where have I been?

2011-11-23T23:53:00.000-08:00

Well… my world is around my small wonder, my bundle of joy!!

Healing Madam!

2011-07-13T05:03:00.000-07:00

The work place sucks, the country sucks, the world sucks! There isn’t a thing around me which is less than being wretched! Sadly I realize that our planet is ruled by a bunch of useless morons. There is no escape from those boring routine faces; bumping into them only makes life all the more depressing. How can a poor feeble little creature like me repair the sad state of such affairs, I keep wondering!

“Ting Tong… Ting Tong!” My mobile phone beeped, indicating that I have received a message.

“Depressed in life? Finding it difficult to laugh out loud? Then, come to us… we have the right remedy for you. We will heal all your mental and physical tensions and help you rejuvenate! For related help, call us on 8800 0011 1100. Regards, Lakshmi Chengappa,
A-HOPE”, read the message.

“Oh wow!! A customized message from God? He has finally decided to help me!”, I felt. Not giving it a second thought, I dialed the number.

“Hello… This is Shalini Surendran here; I just received a sms which said you can cure my mental tensions. I just wanted to discuss the same with you and take this forward”, I said hopefully.

“Welcome Mam… to Aavarapan Healing Opulence Private Enterprise, A-HOPE. Let me please connect you to our healer, Agent Lavanya. Mean while, please enter your personal details following our customer assistant.”

“Agent Lavanya? Have I reached a detective agency?” I had my doubts!

“Welcome Ms. Shalini to A-HOPE. This is agent Lavanya. So, shall I begin the first session with you?”, said the sweet voice on the other end.

“Oh sure… please go ahead. I am all ears!”, I said enthusiastically.

“To begin with, let me give you an overview of A-HOPE. We are the only organization in the world that identifies one's inner potentials and strengths. Our founder, Poojya Shri Lakshmi Chengappa-ji was born with the ability to see lives of people, see their energy patterns and can find out which part of the body is diseased. She can also ascertain whether or not one is connected spiritually with oneself.”

I thought, “What the hell is getting connected to oneself? Is that something like tying oneself to a pole and dancing in bliss?!!”

I couldn’t make any sense of what she went on and on about Madam Poojya Lakshmi-ji. Hence I interrupted, “So, when can I submit my problems to Lakshmi mam? Please share her email id.”

Agent got pissed off. She said, “There is no need to do that. Lakshmi mam’s extra sensory perception skills will by itself find out your problems and automatically heal you.”

“Magic?” I thought of the movies Mr. India, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, while the agent continued blah-blah-ing. It was more like attending an absolutely boring physics lecture after years. After 20 minutes of one sided non sense, the only few words I could recollect were aura, mind-body-soul, spiritual destination, healing, inner & outer selves ...which were of course meaningless to me!

Finally she concluded, “There is no past, present and future. All collapse into a single experience!”

Before I could ask “What the bloody hell is that supposed to be?”, agent said, “We shall share the details of the next session with you via email. Thank you. Have a great day!”

I received the email in the next 30 seconds.

Dear Ms. Shalini,

We hope that Session-1 has enlightened your spirits. Now, we enter Session-2. All you have to do is let us know a convenient time, during which you are supposed to go to sleep. We will connect with you while you are asleep, your problems will be then captured impeccably. You will be surprised to wake up into a new world, a fun filled and joyful world.

Thank You,
Lakshmi Chengappa.

I went to sleep at the scheduled time, woke up to see their second email which said,

Dear Ms. Shalini,

Welcome to the new world of possibilities. All your problems are erased off your mind; you are a new human being from today.

Please find attached the invoice. Account details are also given.

Thank You,
Lakshmi Chengappa.

Totally clueless, I tried to recollect the flow of events during my sleep. But in vain… all I could remember was my dream of eating prawns biriyani at our house in Trivandrum and playing cricket with my small and big cousins!

I opened the attachment. For the first Latin/Greek gyan over phone and the magical sleep therapy, they have sent a bill of just Rs 8500!!!

Lesson learnt – When I felt low, all I had to do was watch Mohanlal & Jagathy in Yodha or Inspector Clouseau in Pink Panther …rather than letting some cunning Chengappa indulge in day light robbery!

(As narrated by Big-B… from the dairy of his adventures!!)

Empathising with ourselves!

2011-07-04T06:18:00.000-07:00

Forget us, poor Bangaloreans... not even Super Man can speed on this road!

Picture clicked on Outer Ring Road in Bangalore, which houses lakhs of IT professionals.

Trend Setters

2011-06-30T10:41:00.000-07:00

Two of my non-malayalee friends in Guruvayur – not knowing it is strictly a “no-trousers” zone!

But you never know… in this ultra-fashion age, there could be folks following their style – dothi, backpack and sneakers!

God gave it back!

2011-05-26T23:40:00.000-07:00

An email conversation I had with one of my colleagues in our neighborhood.

Subject: Awkward Question

Hi Shalini,

I know this is very embarrassing. But I cannot help L For the past one hour I have been composing this email; I’m still hunting for words. I really don’t know how you will take this. However, for professional reasons, I am forced to ask you this. Please try to understand my situation... Hope you will not take this as a work place harassment!

So, here is my question: Which type are you - boy or girl? I am so unfamiliar with Indian names, that I cannot even make a wild guess.

Thanks & Regards,

Yuan Chow

Seeing the subject line, I was both curious and nervous to open the email. But reading it which ends with the sender's name, I was first reminded of menu card in a Chinese restaurant!! I, who think too high of my name, couldn’t believe that in spite of exchanging so many emails with her for more than a year, she couldn't yet make out my 'type'! :P Anyways, I decided to reveal my gender indirectly. Here is what I wrote back.

Subject: RE: Awkward Question

Hello Yuan Chow,

I belong to the category of Aishwarya Rai J

Cheers,

Shalini

After clicking the send button, I felt she would have thought I am boasting of my looks, comparing myself to Ashu! I seriously regretted trying to be funny!

Subject: RE: Awkward Question

Sorry to ask again Shalini, I didn’t get you when you said A.Rai category! You mean... errr!!! Please make it clear!

That definitely is insulting the women in India… not knowing ‘what’ Aishwarya Rai is! Also, letting thoughts go wild! What would she have meant when she said "errr..."? So this time, I decided to keep it simple and "straight"!

Subject: RE: Awkward Question

Yuan Chow,

I am a girl and so is Aishwarya Rai. If you are wondering who she is, she is just another girl like me; by mistake I mentioned her in my previous mail.

Have a wonderful day. Bye…

Thanks,

Shalini

I have written many sarcastic blog posts, making fun of my friends and others having witty names! Never had I thought, I will get it back from somebody across the border, who doesn’t even know me! :P :P

Rendezvous!

2011-05-06T03:29:00.000-07:00

I spoke to two of my childhood buddies last week, after really a long time! Felt so good! We didn’t discuss appraisals or the project we are into or the latest stocks we bought; but we pulled each others’ legs reminding of the most stupid things we did in school and laughed so much at our madness! We talked about our sexy computer mam who one fine day stopped coming to school & the chemistry teacher who never smiles! And we laughed again!

Last evening, I was at a shopping mall, where I met this lady who was looking drop-dead gorgeous! She caught everybody’s attention in her lovely red saree draped tightly around her slender waist; her hair was loosely tied and the careless strands falling on her eyes only made her look cuter; colored glass bangles chimed on her arms and her saree blouse naughtily revealed the Chinese Dragon tattoo on her back! I snapped at my colleague when I caught him red handed ogling her! He said, “Ooo… A thing of beauty is a joy forever, indeed! At times God is so partial and unfair! Loveliness and splendor are concentrated at just one place!” he said tossing down the drooping saliva into his mouth!

Looking at ourselves, we couldn’t help cribbing about how unglamorous and wretched we were! To get over the dejection, we decided to get caffeinated! As we were gazing at the crowd sipping our coffee, the lady in red walked to us and said, “Hari Om*!”

My colleague not knowing how to react, said “Sorry, we are not aware!” and he looked at me.
I said, “Well… Hari Om! Chinmayan**?”

Lady, “Very much! I taught you guys for a few months; but not sure if you can remember me!”

Oh My God! Deepika mam, about whom we spoke volumes just a couple of days ago!!! I couldn’t believe my eyes! For a second, I remembered how the boys in our class used to associate their ‘wet dreams’ with Deepika mam and her almost backless blouse.

So sweet of her to recognize me after these many years and even come to me and say a hello! I am really really touched. But, I failed miserably to repay the compassion!

In spite of having tons of questions in my kitty to make the reunion treasured, this is what escaped out of my mouth, “But, you never had the tattoo there before!”

Embarrassed Deepika Mam, “Oh… I got that done later! Hmmm… okay then, nice meeting you; bye!”

This post is dedicated to my male friends at school. Sorry guys! I couldn’t gather any information about your heart throb, once-up-on-a-time!

**Chinmaya Vidyalaya is the school where I studied; affectionately we address anybody associated with the institution as ‘Chinmayan’!

*’Chinmaya way’ of saying ‘hello’!

Answer the ‘thatha’!

2011-04-18T02:25:00.000-07:00

I was rushing to the cafeteria this afternoon, while this guy stopped me, probably to update his personal data base.

About this guy: He is the one whom I have been noticing since almost 2 years. He sits next to the ladies’ rest room on my floor and I am not sure if he takes count of the number of times girls pass his aisle! :P Going by his gray strands, I assume he is a fairly senior employee; maybe even a manager. I cannot be wrong cos I see him giving gyan (free advice) to others and often I see e-newspapers open on his monitor. What else do managers have to do?! :P :P I don’t know his name; so let me call him ‘thatha’ (grand-pa).

Thatha: Are you a Malayalam?
Me: Huh?! No…
Thatha: Then, Tamil?
Me: No…
Thatha: Confused.
Me: I am a Malayalee who speaks Malayalam.
Thatha: Isn’t that what I asked?

Me: Nope!

Thatha: Hahahaa…!!! Burping at my face the daal-chaval what he had for lunch, South Indians are so funny!

Help me guys... What would have been your reply to him?

After all, what is in a (Mallu) name?

2011-03-24T00:56:00.000-07:00

Mallu names can get super-hilarious! …like the name I just found on the name plate outside one of the cubicles in office – Jiljin Kuzhiyil! For all you non-mallus out there, lemme explain: “Kuzhi” means ‘a pit’ and “kuzhiyil” means ‘in the pit’! So, when put together, it reads “Jiljin in the pit”! Sorry folks… when it comes to some mallu names, my ability to understand the gender of the person is very poor. In this case, I assume this is a guy, so lemme address Jiljin as “he”. Poor thing; he is carrying his name as a funny tag all through his life – for people like me to write blog posts and for others to have a really good laugh!

Jiljin is just one of the 1000s of victims – of the creativity of people from God’s Own Country! One of my colleagues Saju Mathilmel is yet another example. ‘Mathil’ is fence and ‘Mathilmel’ is ‘on the fence’. And I wonder; will it not lead to logically incorrect situations, like… even if Saju is in the loo, he remains on the fence (going by his name)!!!

Like I mentioned in my first post on my mallu friends having funny names, one of the most common trends observed among Malayali parents is that they take a few alphabets from their names and create an out-of-the-box name for the child. Think of the kid whose mother’s and father’s names were Pinky and Geo. If anybody shouts, “You Pig…!!”, the poor kid, throughout his life, will have to turn and ask: “Yes… did you call me?! To make it sound more fancy, the ultra-inventive parents might add a ‘mon’ or ‘kutty’ as a suffix. So that makes him, Pig Kutty!!

After all, what is in a name, right? Especially in a mallu name!!!

Prospective Groom Meeting!

2011-03-04T00:54:00.000-08:00

It was fabulously a beautiful Saturday morning. My roommates and I decided to spend the day shopping, followed by an elaborate lunch from the best Chinese restaurant in town. As we were getting ready, my mommy darling gave me a call. She started off sweetly, asked about my friends, my boss; she even checked why we didn’t plan any movie for the weekend! Something really fishy, na?! Daal mein kuchh definitely kaala hai…

I told my mother, “Don’t beat around the bush, Amma. Tell me… what is it that you want?”
Amma, “There is this guy working in California, who wants to meet you. He…”
I interrupted, “Arnold Schwarzenegger?! Why would he want to meet me?”
Amma, “No no… a Nair boy; an IIT graduate too! Kamini aunty came up with this proposal and I want you to meet this guy who is in Bangalore this weekend.”
I snapped back, “Like I tell you always… I shall meet him; but cannot guarantee that I will like him”
Amma, “I shall slap you! Why do you always start off anything on a negative note?”

I was given the prospective groom’s phone number. I decided to meet him in the next half an hour for breakfast as I didn’t want to ruin our shopping plans! And… why would I say no to sponsored breakfast??! :P

The scheduled meeting time was 9:00 a.m. As I stepped inside Ananda Bhavan, I saw this totally out-of-place looking guy seated uncomfortably on a table, scrutinizing the whole place. I was sure… he is the Californian dude! A few more moments of inspecting him, I noticed the text on his t-shirt – “I am America”! I wondered, “Multi-purpose shirt… it serves as a placard too. Interesting!”

Murmuring, “Oh Mr. America… here I come!”, I walked to his table, shook hands and introduced myself.

American dude, “You could have chosen a better place for breakfast. This seriously is retarded! I have heard about some place called Leela or something. Could have gone there!”
Me, “Trust me… food is good here!”
Dude, “Alright… so, I am Kim. I’m from the Silicon valley”.
Alarmingly, I said, “God… then, I think I am at the wrong table with the wrong person. Excuse me…”
Dude, “Chill girl… My full name is Kalyan Manoharan. However, I like being called Kim”.
In my mind, “What a looser he is! And, what the hell am I doing here?”

The waiter interrupted our conversation, “Eenu bekku? Masala dosa, rava dosa, onion uthappam, puri, idli, vada, uppiddu…” The list was really really long!

Dude, “Can I have pan cakes and hash browns?” I couldn’t believe he actually asked for that!!!
Waiter, “Enu madam?”
Me, “He wants boiled potato…”
Waiter, “Lunch time 12 o clocke start aaguthe!”
Dude making faces, “Holy Cow! Hmmm... well; I think I will settle for plain dosa. And please clean the pan with paper towel before you pour the batter!”
I thought, “Buffalo he is... who shows off!!
Dude turning to me, “You see, In India, you cannot trust anybody!”
Not knowing how to react, I said, “No comments!”

The food came and as I was about to attack my onion-rava-masala-dosa, he screamed at me, “Did you wash your hands with sanitizer?”
Terrified me said, “I washed my hands there”, pointing the wash area.
Affectionately offering me a sachet of hand sanitizer, he said, “Especially in India, it is very important to have one in your bag always!”

Lending my ears to his Bay Area and Silicon Valley stories was the greatest torture I could ever ask for on a Saturday morning! The faster I ate, the faster I could escape! I hurriedly ate my dosa and felt relieved when I finished it. When the waiter placed the finger bowls on our table, the dude called him back and asked, “Please take this back and bring mineral water instead!” My eyes actually popped out.

He was given the bill and this is how he reacted...
Dude, “I just don’t trust the system in India. So, I’m actually scared to give my card here! And also, I don’t believe in carrying cash in my wallet.”
As I was wondering what shocker he has for me, the dude blasted it out, “So I give the lady, the honor & privilege to pay for our breakfast!”

I thought, “Pichakkaran (beggar) from the Silicon Valley!!! Not a penny in his pocket… but wants to go to The Leela Palace for breakfast! Grrrr...rr..!!”
Dude, “Okay… nice meeting you! We should do this often until I return to California. Only then, we can take a decision!”
In my mind, “Get lost, you idiot!”

Do you also have any interesting bride/groom seeing experiences to share? Come on then… I am all ears! J

Sincerely, Your Valentine!

2011-02-14T09:43:00.000-08:00

Yet another day of love! Oh… the much awaited Valentine’s Day is here!!

In school, teachers searched our desks to check for love letters and gifts draped in red fancy wrappers. The smartest of the lot got away without being caught! What a victory it was considered to be! In college, the lovers spent the entire day on stone benches, sharing their dreams for a bright and a romantic tomorrow! Girls looked all the more pretty in red salwar kameez and guys – cute in red shirts! Principal chased them away when seen intimately! How harshly the sisters in convent hostel stood against love! Hence a few girls in hostel celebrated the day eating strawberries to their hearts content!

That was a quick recap of my Valentine’s Day memories!

And this time, I ate a heart shaped donut …giving hi-five to all those romantic hearts out there!
Here is wishing all of you a fabulous, peaceful, lovely and an absolutely romantic life ahead!

A note to Sena folks from St. Valentine:

Children,

I know; you have been sincerely trying hard to tackle the romantic problems of the nation. Since I am one of your well wishers, I would like to bring a few things to your notice!

I guess you don’t realize that except for idiots like you, nobody appreciates your activities. Majority of the country honestly feel that you guys are a bunch of losers!! By the way, this is something I always wanted to ask you - don’t you have better things in life to do, other than attack girls who harmlessly spend time with their loved ones? Let them drink, let them dance, let them have fun… why the hell are you guys bothered?

After all, the nation suffers from umpteen more serious problems which demands immediate attention. So, this is a humble request from me, a priest who is not resting in peace… please divert your energy, time and interests towards revitalizing your country’s bloody politicians, a.k.a The Shameless Looters!

Wishing you good luck,

St. Valentine

‘Bar’ Association!

2011-01-24T02:19:00.000-08:00

(As narrated by one of my colleagues)

After enormous brain washing sessions, over-heated debates, emotional blackmailing, face-to-face discussions and once-in-a-while banging the phone, my mother finally succeeded in making me and my brother agree to participate in the seven days long family ritual at Thirunnelveli in Tamil Nadu.

It was then a cheeky and a highly diplomatic task to inject the idea into our better-halves’ brains. Once again, we poor brothers became prey to blackmailing! Threatened my wife, “Book flight tickets to Mumbai for both of us to attend my friend’s wedding. After that, I shall consider coming to Thirunnelveli, your divine village!” A flock of things suddenly flashed across my eyes – designer saree, sandals, matching jewellery, gifts, commute by taxi on crowded Mumbai roads …and my almost empty wallet! Desperately I cried, “God… why in the world, have you given all the manipulating skills to women? Very unfair!!”

Finally, the day has arrived. We packed our bags and forcefully infused enthusiasm about the trip into all our minds! We also prepared a long to-do list of things apart from attending the ceremonies at the temple.

It was also an occasion to meet our near, dear and not-so-dear relatives. We city-bred folks are like fancy beings to most of them. They, the most inquisitive bunch I have ever met, believe that we are smart only at making money and are super-idiots otherwise. Asked this fat grandmother to my wife ‘n’ number of times, “One year after wedding; why are you still not thinking of elaborating your family? Any medical problems? Do you know… when I was of your age, my Paramanand was 10 years old!!!” Trying really hard to hide her annoyance, my wife gave her a terrible smile and walked away! Grrr… how dare they poke their nose into somebody else’s sex life?!! These people also wanted to know how we spend the money we earn, if our friends drink and smoke, if any girls whom we know wear short skirts, climate in Bangalore, about Obama, and, and, and the list is endless!

The last day of our stay in Thirunnelveli.

Two Iyer ladies in nine-yard sarees, tinkling gold anklets and sindoor splattered on their foreheads - accompanied by husbands in silk dothis! Looks could be exceedingly deceiving at times. Though dressed like Goddess Sita and Lord Rama, our plan for the evening was not so godly! Utterly impatient and oblivious of our location, we were dying to sip some beer and vodka after these many days of being good boys-&-girls!

Finally, we arrived at ‘Padmavibhushan Bar and Restaurant’. Oh… what a relief! A sputter of happiness was very obvious on all our faces!

I asked my folks to wait inside the car and I got out alone to check out the ambience of the place. When I felt it was decent enough to spend half an hour, I gave a missed call to my brother, signaling them to follow me.

As the three walked to the door, the old watchman seated there got terrified and instantly stopped their way. He said, “Madam… the restaurant is not upstairs!”
My sister-in-law, “Yes we know!”
Watchman, “Then, you perhaps have come to the wrong place.”
My wife, “Do they serve vodka inside?”
Watchman almost fainted… ":X"

They pushed open the door to enter the bar and walked one after the other towards the table I reserved. That is when all of us realized… the partial and complete drunkards were up from their seats to give a standing ovation to the esteemed and unexpected guests at “Padmavibhushan”! The dim lights, the chaos and “Sheila ki Jawani…” played from a screeching player only added flavor to the mood.

My sister in law, “Oh… never in life I felt so important! :P :P”

No doubt… it was absolutely an eventful week! We felt we will miss the village and even the villagers, whose innocence compel them to be very blunt! It's now time to get back to Bangalore – back to fast food, computers, blackberry and showing off on facebook!

Good Bye 2010. Welcome 2011.

2010-12-29T20:55:00.000-08:00

I am back …from hibernation!!!

Oh; it has been one heck of a month! If you are wondering what has been happening at my end, well… I was bored and annoyed, of lying under the blanket, staring at the ceiling, breathing silence, fighting tiredness, living on paracetamol, irritated but helpless! What had attacked me? Not just a viral fever but ‘The Bloody Annoying Viral Fever’! It drained out even the last bit of energy within me. Thanks to the mad Bangalore weather!! However now I am fit, fine, healthy, smiling and all set to welcome the New Year!

Cheers to 2011; it is yet another chance for us to get it right! J

Wishing all of you, a Very Very Happy New Year - who intentionally and accidentally visits my blog!

Enjoy! Have a blast!

The Great Indian Chutney Shower

2010-11-11T02:15:00.000-08:00

I am a hard core south Indian. I take breakfast seriously. I mean, damn seriously. Haven’t you seen me relishing on dosa-sambar-pongal-upma-idly-vada-chutney-puttu-kadala?

Now, this post is about one of my infamous breakfast encounters.

As usual, I was on my way to office one day, scrutinizing my fellow passengers in the bus - the same corporate folks who discuss the same Java and Oracle and relocation and America and cars and traffic and managers! So unexciting …to see the same monotonous faces daily! To make my time productive, I decided to make a to-do list for the day at work. But no… I couldn’t think of anything beyond my cube and my teammates. What was the distraction? The interrupting thought of the aroma of filter coffee in the cafeteria! “Forget work. First things first; so, let me elaborately plan today’s breakfast”, I decided. Thinking of the hot fluffy poori and the masala, I smiled to myself …wide!

As soon as I reached office, I marched to the cafeteria high spiritedly! There I met my friends, who also believe that the best way to start off a day is by making the tummy happy. As I was picking up my food from the counter ‘hello’-ing and ‘hi’-ing with colleagues standing in the queue, by mistake I dropped my tumbler splashing coriander chutney all over the floor! Oh Shit! I ‘sorry’-ied to the boy serving the food a thousand times and he kindly replaced my dish.

Forgetfulness is bliss at times! Totally forgetting the commotion I created a few minutes ago, I thoroughly savored the food with my friends over jokes and gossips and pulling legs!

It is now time for some serious stuff – work! I got into the elevator while two others whom I do not know joined. One of them was stinking and I felt embarrassed to close my nose in front of him.

Me (thinking): Darling, it’s been how long since you took a shower?
Stinking Guy: What a bad start…
Other Guy: What happened? And why are you wet?
Stinking Guy: Early in the morning, somebody gave me a bath in chutney. It even got into my eyes that I couldn’t even see the culprit. Bloody annoying idiot! Grrrr… Useless fellow!

Shock, guilt, shame and nervousness sneaked in through my bones and nerves!

Me: Excuse me!
Stinking Guy: Yes… (the other guy also turned at me)
Me: The bloody useless idiot whom you just referred is me.
Both their eyes popping out: What?
Me: I am so sorry; I didn’t know that there were victims to my act. I was the one who gave you the bath and I swear it was accidental.
Stinking Guy: Oh sorry! I didn’t mean it, you know! Huh, hmmm… I was just talking in general… Hope you can understand - chutney on my shirt, eyes, everywhere…
Me: I am really really sorry!

The elevator opened, it was their destination. Both of them gave me a smile and got out. I was still ‘sorry’ing!

Heartfelt apology is a funny thing! Don’t you feel so?

Wish

2010-11-08T07:06:00.000-08:00

If you think this picture was shot at Thrissur Pooram*, you are mistaken …big time!

Or, if you think somebody is giving away something for free here, even then you are wrong!

Well, it is just another silly hypermarket in Bangalore, close to my house! When I get bored, I keep committing the same mistake! What? I add to the chaos. How? I go there and shop! Why? To collect the most unimportant things. Then? I crib and cry looking sadly at my empty wallet!

Now, is there a solution to my problem? Yes… but only if one fine day God surprises Bangaloreans with a beach! Instead of Forum Mall, a beach! Wow...!! Lovely, isn’t?! And I wish if it also has lots of kappalandi-walas**!

* Thrissur Pooram

** Peanut-sellers

The Curious Case of a Missing ‘What’!

2010-11-03T01:43:00.000-07:00

The once eventful house; it stands by a gently flowing stream, amongst hundreds of lush coconut and arecanut trees in a quiet countryside in Kerala. It is huge – splendid and palatial. Built by my forefathers, the house is a testimony to yesterday's craftsmanship and tomorrow's ideas. It also promises a breadth of fresh air, bright and smiling sun, clear sky, and inviting greenery – indeed a marvelous place to spend time with oneself! Go back in time; the house had in it fathers and mothers and uncles and aunts and sons and daughters and brothers and sisters and cousins and servants and even cows and goats - all under one same roof!

Though I have not spent many days with relatives in this house; here I experience a strong feeling of belonging. I believe that wherever life takes me to, some day I will have to return to my roots which is here. I have also felt close to people whom I have not seen even once in my life - my great grand fathers and mothers! They were the brave warriors who led many battles and returned to kingdom successfully! Powerful, rich and respected…! What more could they have asked for?

Information courtesy: my super-creative mom, who through her bedtime stories made our ancestors my ultimate heroes. Now in the heaven, I wonder what they will be feeling for their grand children – the corporate slaves living on bank loans in comparatively congested apartments, breathing polluted air!

However, this story is not about us - the disgraceful and snobbish bunch. This is perhaps a century old story - of my dominant forerunners, the background being the house described above.

Once upon a time, there lived a strong, yet a very kind person. He was the king’s most favored and trusted person, the civilians’ defender and the family’s guardian! He was loved and highly respected. But one fine day, to everybody’s shock, he went missing. And, nobody could answer why and where! The only evidence left was a lost brass vessel (mutka) from the veranda of the house. The chapter of the missing person was soon closed concluding that he has left the house and the territory with the mutka. In an era deprived of technology to trace a missing person, I doubt if anybody has even attempted to investigate further.

Anyways, the story does not end there. Generations after him believe that our man has gone to Kasi for pilgrimage. How did they arrive at the decision? Obviously, because he carried the mutka along. Logical finish, huh?!

Here is my take – Did anybody notice a long wooden stick too missing from the house? May be a cloth bag too?! A mutka, walking stick and a cloth bag – these are the ‘must’ accessories for Kasi visit!

Wishing all of you a very happy and a fabulous Diwali.

My Dancing World

2010-10-20T01:31:00.000-07:00

Oh… the cows are dancing, my husband is dancing, the meadows are dancing, the pink flower vase is dancing, the post office building is dancing, and I am also dancing …gorgeously! I cuddled up again inside the blanket, so loving the dream. The Dancing World… oh; it is so beautiful! Life is just perfect – colorful, grand and extravagant! How I wish if I really existed in a happy dancing world, where people forget all their worries and dance together in merry! Closing my eyes tight, smiling to myself …I absolutely loved the visuals!

…while he pulled my blanket and forcefully dragged me into the real, un-happening world! Totally annoyed, I rubbed my eyes and looked furiously at him! But I could only see his jaws move up and down! Huh?! Have I become deaf? Clearing my ears, I screamed at him, “Let us try to reach a consensus. Please let me know your problem. Why do you always hate to see me sleep peacefully?”

He smacked back, “Because, I am not interested in getting buried under the bricks. Are you getting out of the house now with me?”

Unable to make any sense out of it, I asked, “What? Kindly make your point clear.”

I could actually see his hair stand up and fumes come out of his ears. Still trying to stay calm, he said “Madam wifey, if you aren’t aware, the earth is wobbling right now… in scientific terms, it is called an earth quake. So, if you wish to live longer, I invite you outside of the house. Except you and me, the whole of New Zealand is presently outdoors”.

“Ente Karthaave…!”, I cried and panicked! “I have promised my ammachi that I would meet her this December to join the Palli-Perunnal with my valia-ammachi. I cannot afford to miss the gathering at any cost! Come on; what the hell are you waiting for? Run... fast… run!” In the next second, both of us joined the hundreds of desis and vi-desis on the road, in shock, looking at houses and shops tremble and crack!

In a few minutes, I realized that in 0 degree Celsius, I was standing below the dark sky in my night dress, at 1:30 a.m.! My feet were getting frozen and I tucked my hands into the pockets to feel the warmth. But it was all in vain. I felt my blood vessels also getting frozen and thought I would soon become a statue. Visualizing it for a sec – a statue wearing night pants with smiling Micky mouse all over and tees having Dhoni raise his cricket bat! Oh no… so, weird! And perhaps, people would name it, “The Statue of Frozen Looze”!

I told my husband, “Analyzing the situation, I think we are left with just 2 choices – either die in this unbearable chilliness or be prepared to get smashed under the bricks. I guess latter one would be the smart choice! At least that sounds very fancy! So honey, come… let’s go home and watch ‘Enthiran’! You never know, we might get better ideas!!”

As narrated by my very close friend Looze Baby; oops… I mean Liz Anto Cherry who currently resides in New Zealand with her husband.

Mid-week Gyan

2010-10-13T03:39:00.000-07:00

Have you experienced moments in life when you feel totally let down? When calculations go wrong? When neighborhood appears boring and even rotten? When you realize you aren’t earning enough? When colleagues turn super ass holes? When you are being deceived and taken for a ride? When family drives you nuts? When you cannot tolerate India loosing cricket matches? When gymming doesn’t save? When even expensive lingerie no longer helps you look sexy? When carelessness take over you? When you lose enthu to live life to the fullest?

What do you do? Give up? Never!! Then?!

I have the solution!

Rush to Krishna Kafe, eat an onion-rava-masala-dosa soaked in coriander chutney and get slouched in filter coffee. Non bangaloreans – you may visit the nearest Saravana Bhavan or Aryas to relish the poori-baji or idi-vadas. Spend the evening with your best friend reliving those nostalgic days shared years ago. Chop vegetables to help your wife cook sambar for dinner. Watch Tom & Jerry fight ...and laugh. Hug your mom. Sleep tight praying for a better tomorrow!

What you think is a silly solution, could be the greatest reliever at times! Earth is after all, not all that a bad place to live in!! J

Emergency!

2010-10-11T23:51:00.000-07:00

I admit; I have cribbed volumes about this city. I hate the endless wait in the city’s chaotic traffic, so annoying are the narrow, unplanned and dug up roads, I cannot stand those uncivilized idiots who spit their red juice on public walls, sadly there is no solution to irresponsible political system and I see no end to pollution!

However, in spite of all the mismatch of likes, I am in love with Bangalore! Totally…!!

I love the cosmopolitan way of life here, I love my home, I love my work, I love the red buses on road, I love my new friends, I love my weekends and I love the weather.

Talking about Bangalore’s weather… I guess it is now going through some strange illness! Otherwise,

Why are the mornings no more cold? Oh… how I love those lazy, cozy and chill daybreaks!
Why are the afternoons so damn hot? Up above the sun is so uninviting!
Why are the evenings welcomed by surprise rains? …which lacks rhythm and beauty!
Why do we still sweat at night? That is terrible!

Pediatricians, gynecologists, ophthalmologists, neurologists…, anybody out there to treat my poor ailing Bengalooru?!

Master Plan

2010-09-29T21:35:00.000-07:00

Ayodhya, Babri, CWG - the key words for the week; no doubt!!!

God… 60 years is 6 decades! Is there a more laid back and screwed up thing as our judiciary?! Anyways, I am not here to invite any comments on that!

As I wonder what the hell they have been doing for 60 years, my most intelligent friend proposed this idea! I felt this is brilliant and is worth sharing with all of you.

So, here is the master plan:

Ground Floor – Ram Mandir
First Floor – Mosque
Second Floor – Shopping Mall
Third Floor – Food Court
Fourth Floor – Multiplex theatre
Around the structure – Gandhi Park

Problem solved, right?! Definitely a fabulous, sexy, insightful and a peaceful plan for all the communities across all age group! Why hasn’t anyone thought of this for all this while?!

Keeping fingers crossed… Today is the test of maturity of our nation. Let’s see how far we have progressed – spiritually, politically, emotionally, strategically, personally and intellectually!

Reception

2010-09-25T03:54:00.000-07:00

Unlocked the door. Got inside. Removed shoes. Changed clothes. Gulped water. Looked around. Stand still. Opened gmail. 9 new mails. Not interested. Over to blog. No new comments. Disappointed. Switched to facebook. No. Bored of 'liking' status messages. Log out. Rediff news. Yuck… dirty politics and retarded system. Gtalk. Hate chatting. How about Spider Solitare? Not so early. Shutdown the computer. TV. 10 minutes, zapped from 1 to 356. DVD. F.r.i.e.n.d.s. For the 100^th time, definitely unexciting. Flipped through the half read book. So depressing. Closed. Tea time. Switched the stove on. Lazy. Turned it off. But hungry. Opened the fridge. Empty. Next? Mobile phone. Ran through the contacts. No mood for a conversation. Looked around. Emptiness. Gloom. Just silence and its heartlessness!

Husbands, wives, boy friends, girl friends, room mates, fiancés & friends! Planning to attend a late night meeting to discuss not-so-important strategies with folks in the US or Israel or UK or where ever? Think again and set your priorities!

Back to school

2010-09-20T04:05:00.000-07:00

While working now at my desk, I am reminded of my English teacher in school who once told, “Cows are not allowed in this school” to one of my friends whose anklets were tinkling away to glory. Now, when I hear the next-cube-girl’s bangles jingle as she types on her keyboard, I realize the magnitude of irritation caused due to these kinds of fancy things!

I started scribbling down this post thinking I shall go on & on about my annoyance at her bangles! But now I think I rather write about something I’d love to cherish …about the fabulous people in my life to recollect nostalgic memories I shared with them!

In the middle of theory of relativity and 3-dimensional geometry and economics and genetics, English hours were such a breather! How I loved listening to stories of O.Henry and Charles Dickens! …and how we were forced to by-heart ‘Daffodils’ and ‘If’ and the ‘Mending Wall’ to ultimately puke them into our answer sheets!

Thinking about English teachers, I am reminded of this ‘most happening miss’ who was extremely fond of giving her students a lot of gyan during morning assembly on varied topics. For Chinmayans of Kannur… here is the clue: She is famous for her perfectly round bindhi and neatly tied bun. If on Monday she talks about, “I see shoe prints on the wall near 11th standard classroom. I suppose we have boys and girls studying here and not spiders or reptiles!” on Tuesday, she will give anticipated highlights on the consequences if the students continue to misbehave during prayer time.

An adorable darling she is - the teacher who taught us “To Sir with love”! She, who was also terrifically bothered about cleanliness and punctuality, expected us brats to come in sparkling white shoes and ultra clean shirts and trousers and pinafores …thus compelling us to fight over the black board duster every day morning – to rub our shoes with the magical multipurpose gadget!

A cute tiny thing… fair & lovely was the teacher who recited so beautifully - about the phoenix bird who rose from its own ashes! A delightful experience it was, to listen to her repeat expressively the verses of the poem. However, little she knew that we were mostly flattered by her charm than what we were being taught! J

Apart from them, many other teachers taught me a lot other things – from “chubby cheeks” to “A for Apple” to “Robinson Crusoe” to “grammar” to “writing” to reading” to “calligraphy” to every bit of operation I do with English alphabets, words, phrases, sentences and paragraphs! Cheers, love and hugs to all of them!

…because of them, I have this blog and I write to you!

By the way, the bangles are still jingling …however I am not as irritated as I was before!

Chinmayans and non-chinmayans – Do you also want to share with us, your experiences with teachers in school?

Pre and Post Wedding

2010-09-06T03:45:00.001-07:00

Oh… How I love being in love! True…there ain’t a thing better than falling in love; my life cannot get more beautiful than this!

Darling… My heart has never been so restless and keen; it longs to be filled with your love, more love and only love! It longs to be with you – now, today, tomorrow and every second! You know, the world shrinks into a minuscule when you are in my arms… my thoughts are arrested; they don’t fly out of the window and I love being confined in you!

My not-so-fancy life is all set to grow wings as you step into my small world; let us together conquer the romantic terrains to make all my dreams come true! Oh… how madly, deeply and truly I am in love with you!

Holding thoughts about you tight… here I go to sleep looking forward to a bright and a lovely tomorrow.

-Nik.

Nik closed his diary and went to bed …and she danced in his dreams.

Nik is my best friend who is going to get married in a few days. A couple of days back, I was at a coffee shop with him. I have never seen Nik so happy and excited; and I cannot believe even he is stung by the love-bug! I was so surprised to see him in the new romantic avatar; the once-upon-a-time prankster Nik has become a hard core Romeo! Over a cappuccino with me, he talked volumes about his girl. However, seeing her photograph, I felt she looks more like a school teacher and very little of a Juliet. And like an idiot, I called out my mind to him! Anyways, my comment was totally ignored as he was profoundly involved in raving about his love for his to-be-better half!

Nik’s girl, the only daughter of her parents was a pampered baby …hey! but, never a spoiled brat! She belongs to the category of ‘very good, no-nonsense girls’. And this only added to Nik’s concern and anxiety about post marriage days. He wondered, “Appa’s apple of the eye she is, what can I do to keep her cheerful? What do I do so that she doesn’t miss her home?”

Finally, the wedding day!

The 3 days long Tam-Bram wedding happened with much splendor and celebration. The bride and the groom were dressed up in the most exquisite outfits; the couple looked overjoyed… well set to embrace the life that lies ahead of them.

Nik still had a tinge of worry… about her wellbeing in the new home!

Blessed by near & dear relatives & friends, holding hands, the both of them entered his house …flowers & well wishes showered on the two!

Suddenly amidst the crowd, Nik found her missing. He knew she would be crying. Good bye to parents on the day of the wedding is a painful thing indeed! Any girl would shed tears. However, Nik is a smart boy! He has foreseen this and already knows how to pep her up! Nik dashed into his room, opened the cupboard and grasped the surprise gift he secretly bought for her – a stunning diamond pendant tucked in a heart shaped box, beautifully wrapped in red velvet!

He went to all corners of the house looking for her.

…however was shocked to find her in the least expected place - jasmine flowers drooping down her hair and gold bangles tinkling, she was washing clothes in the bathroom, in her kancheepuram saree!
Amazed and not able to hide his expression, Nik asked her, “When the house is filled with guests, what are you doing here?”
Casually she replied, “Give me just 5 more minutes please… What an eventful wedding it was - three days of changing clothes umpteen number of times! If I don’t wash my under garments, I will run out of them!”

With his mouth open wide and the diamond pendant hid inside his dothi, Nik stood there staring at her, speechless!

P.S - This post is specially for Nik’s girl, now my very very good friend! J

Rundown

2010-08-24T23:16:00.000-07:00

I lie quiescent

in sightlessness,
like a chewing gum
stuck under a shoe.
Without a clue,
but wanting to crawl;
confused…
in blind humiliation.

FYI: This has nothing to do with my state of mind; I am still the same old mad stupid myself!

Onam extravaganza

2010-08-22T03:26:00.000-07:00

celebrate this Onam in style, fabulously!

believe that we are still being ruled fairly by a Mahabali

believe that delight and justice fill the air always

believe that we certainly are far away from any menace

believe that all are in the pink of health

believe that betrayals are out of our lives

believe that we are living in bliss – a heaven

for sure, God’s own county!

(picture clicked at Enteveedu, Wayanad)

Apart from watching Mohanlal and Mammootty on Asianet or Surya TV, how differently have you celebrated Onam this time? Let me know through the comment box.

Laddu weds Insulin!

2010-07-30T04:16:00.000-07:00

My trip to the US of A is at last confirmed. Oh, how impatient I’m now – to indulge in all those activities which I love and are not possible in India. Lovely and happening days ahead – I am pretty sure of that! J

I collected my tickets from the travel desk and as I walked back to my cube, I tried to recollect the list of things I am asked to carry for my friends and relatives there.

All what I can think of now are – Sambar powder from Swamy’s for Jaggy, Kuchippudi costumes for Sacramento cousin, Thirupati Balaji’s photo frame and Meera-Bhajans CD for the newly-wed friend, collection of Kalikkudukka for Shalu babe, insulin shots for uncle in Chicago … The list only would get longer!

That is when I was told by somebody that the insulin shots will not be allowed to lounge in the flight unless the person travelling has some related health issue. Oh no… me, a total chocolate and gulab-jamun lover never want to lie to anybody that my blood is diabetically polluted. What if Sugar-God then says, “Tha-thaa-sthu” and it happens?! Sure; I don’t even want to take a chance! However, thinking of my Uncle who is being denied every sweet and also not-so-sweet thing in the world I feel, I definitely should help him in some way!

I rang this uncle’s son to brainstorm and find a solution.

RaPi: Hello… do u realize it is 2:30 in the morning here?
Me: But it is a lovely evening here!:P
RaPi: Now, what do you want?
Me: Apparently, I should go diabetic if I am to carry those insulin shots in the flight. And I am not, touch-wood! So, what do we do?
RaPi: Simple… even if they ask, don’t tell them you have them in your bag.
Me: No… I don’t think I am in favor of lying to the officers!
RaPi: Oh, sorry… I forgot that your dad’s name is ‘Sir. Harishchandra’!
Me: Come on… let us discuss!
RaPi: Indeed; at 2:30 in the middle of my sleep, I am getting too creative to give you ideas. Hmm… alright, do one thing!
Me: What?
RaPi: Get a box of laddu from Anandabhavan and squeeze the insulin babies in between. They will have fun together in the box.
Me: What? Have you gone bonkers?
RaPi: I think it is a fabulous idea; if the officer asks you, you may tell the truth – that they are delicious laddus inside. If at all they open the box to confirm, you still have not lied cos they are actually there!

Me: Then, what about the insulin? Should I tell him that this is how laddus in India lay eggs?
RaPi: Prevention is better than cure; so wise Indians inject insulin into the laddus before consuming! Wow... this is brilliant!
Me: Bad idea…
RaPi: Alright… you want to make it believable, right? Then, here you go… tell him that you are amnesia-struck big time that you have no idea about what those insulin bottles are doing with the laddus! I know you are quite a drama-queen and will surely do a good job!
Me: Not knowing how to react, I kept quiet.
RaPi: Now, please don’t disturb me; I shall call you tomorrow when it is 3 in the morning in India.
Me: Good Night… Bye.

I hung the call and I am still trying to recall all the advice, ideas and points shared with me …while the phone rang again.

RaPi: Instead of laddus, get a jumbo box of kaju-katli – the spherical ones with silver foil over it… I like them better. And please come soon; I just cannot wait - not for you, but for the kaju-katlis :P
Me: huh?! :x :x

TGIF! Have a great weekend, folks! J

Instant Vaccination

2010-07-12T22:17:00.000-07:00

It was for the first time in my life I was going to attend a celebrity’s funeral. I cannot deny the fact that I was actually curious to observe the visitors out there and their expressions! Will it not be interesting to watch people whom we usually see singing and dancing around the trees on-screen perform in such a situation?! I was just wondering if their tears would turn smiles once the media camera is off their faces! …or to keep the drama alive, will they continue to weep at the coffin? However, I am not bringing everybody under the same umbrella as I know there could be genuine folks too!

I was amused to see the crowd who had come to attend the funeral. This includes not only curious people like me, but also his relatives, friends, journalists, neighbors, perhaps his professional and personal rivals too!!

Of all, the person who caught my attention was this guy with Raj Kapoor kind of moustache and Amrish Puri kind of side burns! I checked his feet… no; he doesn’t have Jithendra kind of shoes! :P I guess this highly energetic person has voluntarily taken over the whole show – he was involved in a lot of activities like running around, interacting with guests, in between weeping, consoling the ladies, coordinating the rituals and what not?! Where ever I take my eyes, I could see him so busy!

Now, it was time to take the departed soul’s body to the burial ground. Except the whimper, there was absolute silence! I could feel sadness in the air; a total feeling of loss and helplessness! But, in the next minute, what we heard was an unexpected blast - “Daddy Mummy Veettil Illa….!!” Huh?! Identified the culprit - It was our Raj Kapoor’s phone ringing in maximum volume! And what was he doing now? Poor guy was holding one end of the departed soul with both his hands while his phone was partying from his waist belt pocket! He gave all of us an embarrassed look not knowing what else to do! Trying hard to hold back my laughter, I looked around to realize that most of them were going through the same emotions! I am sure even the celebrity inside the coffin would have had a chuckle! What a way to say the last good bye! J

Moral of the story – Laughter is the most effective instant vaccination!

Tough to Ignore!

2010-06-28T02:18:00.000-07:00

Some people are such attention seekers that if ignored, they either turn violent or they slip into infinite depression which asks for all the more attention!

Let me introduce to you one such attention freak, who craves for consideration; but is neglected big time! The side effect of this negligence is the endless blabbering which the listener should take pitifully, though not by choice!

Last week, I was at my friend’s wedding in Chennai where we friends gathered at the breakfast counter catching up on things. We were discussing work, coding, job changing, stocks, family and everything else that mattered to us.

…while like a Gyan Guru, this Mr. Uncle, an uninvited guest to our conversation was incessantly commenting on our statements.

I: So, where are you trying next? Why don’t you consider coming to Bangalore?
Friend 1: Yes yes, Bangalore is in the list of my preferences.
Mr. Uncle: What is there not in Chennai? So, are you mad to leave Chennai?
I: But uncle, what I meant is…
Mr. Uncle: You software people are idiots. You don’t even realize that cost of living is high in Bangalore.
I: You got me wrong uncle… (Forget it; lemme not explain and make it complicated)
Friend 2: I have interviewed with a product company. Have done…
Mr. Uncle: Didn’t even hear of that before! You should work with Wipro or Infosys. The future of India lies in these 2 companies.

Friend 2: But uncle, my domain is…
Mr. Uncle: This is what happens if you booze and have fun in engineering college. You will not even have a domain at work!
Friend 2: ???!!!!! (Before I leave Chennai, I am going to kill this old man)
I: Wow… look who is coming; Pinky looks so stunning!
Mr. Uncle: What stunning? Girls look good only in Kancheepuram sarees. And only fools will comment this way at a saree that looks like cobweb!
We: Looked at each other not knowing what to say!
I: Uncle, you look nice in this shirt. Did you get it from here?
Mr. Uncle: I know you girls would have taken hours to polish your faces. But that doesn’t mean I should return the compliment, right?!
We: Grrr….rrr…
I: By the way Uncle, where is the groom’s house?
Mr. Uncle: Where all do you know in Chennai?
I: Errr… Just wanted to know if…
Mr. Uncle: Do you know where T.Nagar is? Do you know Vadapalani? Do you know Mount Road? Do you…
I: In worst of my smiles wanting to smash his shining bald head!
Mr. Uncle: Some people… for the sake of asking something, they come up with insignificant dumb questions; to waste others' time!
We: Turned our backs and ran away!

I am sure; even you would have bumped into “I know everything” characters like Mr. Uncle. Do you have any experiences to share?!

Misfired, Escaped!

2010-06-07T03:07:00.000-07:00

Pintu and Dundu are neighbourhood kids. One evening, both of them were fighting in the courtyard, while we were all being onlookers... mere onlookers! Comes running, Dundu's mom to solve the problem and hence restore peace!

Mom: How many times do I have to ask you brats to not fight?

Pintu: Don’t blame me… I just finished my prayers and was walking by …while she threw a stone at me from her house. But, I don’t have any proof cos I cannot even find that stone now!!! L
Mom: How dare you do that, Dundu?
Dundu: That is not true Amma… listen to what happened.
Mom: Hmmm?
Dundu: I was just trying to chase a wicked ~~dog~~ cat away, which was troubling our little chicks. Not in my wildest dreams I imagined it would hit Pintu. Please forgive me Pintu… Sorry!
Pintu: But how is that possible?
Dundu: You know right, I am a big time ~~sheep~~ chick lover!
Pintu: Then, where is the stone?

We onlookers: Where? Why? Who? How?

After 2 days:

Mom: I trust Dundu. Her love for animals (dogs and cats are not included) is reflected in the stone which she threw! It travelled at more than 11.2 km/sec thus escaping even earth’s gravitational field! Hope you remember the theory of ‘Escape Velocity’. You see, we have no other option but to believe scientific facts, solid facts!

Moral of the story: Are you Mr. Popular? Then, not only ‘Escape Velocity’, even Vasco-da-Gama can help you escape from mysterious situations, sealing media mouths!

All the characters in the above post are fictitious! Any resemblance to anybody residing in Bangalore or in any other parts of India is purely coincidental. Any doubts?! J

Nirvana

2010-06-03T03:45:00.000-07:00

Just one goal… that was all I had in life during ‘that one moment’! I felt I even existed to accomplish that one goal! Everything else in the world seemed so insignificant to me then. But situation being the bad guy, I could foresee only uneasy road ahead! Yet I realized - except ‘that’, nothing else could please me. My thoughts were just being hesitant to weave feelings about anything else on earth. Oh… how I wished, if time gets dissolved in the air around me, so that I conquer my longing in the very next second!

Scrolling through the traffic amongst honking cars and buses, I cursed every single being which crossed my way. I learnt from my experience what actually is being impatient! To add to the chaos on road, I found a lady blocking our way to shout at a person who hit her vehicle.

Totally losing my temper, I screamed at her, “You mad woman, if he has bumped into your car, it is only your bloody problem! Why the hell should we suffer? Take your damn @#$%^&* car off the road and if you want to slap him, better you do that without disturbing us!” Huh?! Did I say that?

After a long wait, I finally reached home. Rushed into D-Room - the restroom, slammed the door. “Mission Pee” accomplished. Yes, I call that a ‘State of Nirvana’!

Didn’t you also feel that wanting to pee at the wrong time is indeed a trouble?!

Show off!

2010-05-19T03:09:00.000-07:00

“Switz is fun! Guys… what are you waiting for? Come over!”, one of my friends updated her facebook status. How I wish... if visiting Switz was as easy as hopping onto a BMTC bus from Marthahalli to Domlur! Oh! Switzerland… one day, I will come to you! J The same lady is friends with 1248 people! God… did I even speak to more than thousand different people in my whole life ever? …forget adding them to my FB friends list!!

Talking more on status messages; they are hilarious! At times, I laugh my stomach out, else I think, “Silly idiot… how I wish I could slap this fellow!!” Otherwise, it leaves me thinking – like a few listed below.

My darling friends, sorry… I had to steal it from you! Anyways, I am changing your names.

Vanila Zarriya My baby is finally here!! The korangan gets its poomala!! My first SLR!!
Uproarious! Guys, FYI – somebody has drilled a hole in her pocket buying the latest D-SLR. Looking forward to madam’s out-of-the-world pictures; now that the hype is created, you cannot disappoint us! Anyways, I love the monkey and garland usage; visualizing Vani having the SLR around her neck!

Kapish Mahadevan When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you.. When I met you, I was afraid to kiss you.. When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I am afraid to lose you..

Kapish’s spinster friends, don’t ever think he will propose you; this guy has already fallen in love – madly and deeply!

Peenu Logi Got a late birthday gift! How I love gifts and surprises. Thank you so much! :)

Hello… have you wished her on phone or just sent a scrap or wrote on her wall? Well… that has not excited her at all; why the hell didn’t you gift her anything, at least a Davidoff Cool Water?! :P

Again, Peenu Logi Teacher: What is ‘Romancham’? Tintu-mon: Romancham is a particular kulirarity in which all romams dancodu dance!!

Join the club… I am also a big time Tintu-mon fan! J Non-mallus… sorry; you are missing something really really funny!

Reena Laila has one leg in her cube and the other in her grave...Why is all work coming to me? I am only human and not super-human!

Reena’s manager – That is intended at you; please don’t give her any more work… can’t you see her multitasking?! J

Kenuse Ahmed Bright summer's day. skimpy clad gals. more football. no more trench coats. bikinis at Hyde Park! congested tubes. bright tees. even more bikinis. no more day light saving. longer days. extra cleavages! U gotta love summer!!

Now you know what Kenuse is looking forward to!! But dear, is summer actually as exciting as u made it sound like?!

Lastin Kunjumon joined the group ‘DHONI SUCKS’.
The same guy’s update when Chennai (by chance) won the IPL, “Way to go Mahi; you are India’s smartest captain”
In just less than a month… our poor Dhoni is make to suck!

Pandy Pannur is absolutely sad :(
Somebody please attend this attention seeker!

Kinu Lol We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities.
I think she meant something like “Om Shanti Shanti Shanti hi!” :P

And if you are wondering what my status message is, well… I am also going to show off, adding the link to this blog post there! Yes, even I belong to the same category! J

This will be fun, please copy-paste your facebook, twitter, orkut or gmail status in the comment box; let us have a laugh!

Deceived

2010-05-11T00:52:00.000-07:00

Blast the music… Lights on… Let’s party!! We have cute boys in our neighborhood.

It’s been over two months since we chased away the annoying mad couple, who used to be tenants in the house opposite to ours. The worst people on earth to have as neighbors… lovingly, we called them Fatso-Marvadi-Uncle and Bumsy-Aunty. Talk and laugh aloud, they would bang our door… have friends at home, she would scream at us… wear pretty clothes, he would give a horny stare! And we helpless girls reacted by religiously waking up early every morning ...to flick their newspapers and milk packets! Anyways, for whatever reasons, one fine day, they packed their bags and bid goodbye to the street making way for these much-awaited cute guys!

Week 1:
We, half a dozen beautiful girls and neighborhood cute guys were immersed in 'impressing business'. How? By establishing that we were disinterested in each other! However, at times when we meet at Sankar Annan’s Dosa Kadai, we exchange gentle smiles.

Week 2:
Caught them red-handed! We started spotting next-door eyes staring at our windows! Oops, poor guys… they have reached their saturation point!

Week 3:
And, how long can we not react?! We sang to our hearts’ content,
“Peeping through the window, hey darlings…
What will the people say?
If you want to be our friend,
Come through the proper way!”

Week 4:
Nikky, one of my most enthusiastic roommates ran to us screaming, “Guess what?! The cutest of the lot is giggling at me! Please excuse me… let me build the rapport. I shall get back with more spice!”

Leaning against the balcony flipping pages of big fat, “Assembly Programming and 8086 Microprocessor”, Nikki was fiddling with her Nokia mobile. Yet, all her concentration was dedicated to Mr.Cutest. Through the corner of her eyes, she glimpsed at him.

To her surprise, he asked, “Hello, how are you?”
That was indeed least expected! Softly she replied “Yeah… not bad”
Mr. Cutest, “How come you are awake at this time?”
Nikki looked at her watch; it was just 5:30 in the evening!! She thought, “Poor thing is trying hard to strike a conversation!” She said, “Was preparing for my exam. Thought of taking a break”.

My dear readers, FYI – this lady’s exams got over a month back and to see her perched in front of books, you should probably wait till end of next semester!

“Oh… that is bad. You shouldn’t have done that! Now, you make me feel guilty”
Nikky wondered, “Strange! Why the hell is he feeling guilty?” She said, “Come on, you are not at fault. Anyways, I have finished revising a couple of times!”

Revision?! Has this madam ever written any exam reading at least half the portion?!

He, “Wow… this is worth celebrating! Waiting for you to come over; then let’s drive to Ooty …may be a Friday evening. What say, honey?!
Eyes popping out, she yelled, “What the fcuk?! What the hell do you think of yourself?”
Mr. Cutest getting up from his chair, “Excuse me, was that at me?”

‘Nikky The Furious’, in a minute became ‘Nikky The Dumbo’ when she noticed a blue light flickering on his right ear.

Nikky to herself, “God… this bloody bugger was flirting with some NRI idiot over phone, showing off his fancy mobile accessories!” She continues at Mr.Cutest, “Hey nothing; just Microprocessor lessons... was reading out from my textbook. Sorry, if it was a little loud.”

With absolutely no emotions, he got back to the person at the other end.

Nikki came back to us exclaiming, “What a terrible guy, he is the epitome of show off! Grrrr... I did not even look at him! After all, why should I?!!”

Silly TV

2010-05-05T05:09:00.000-07:00

200+ TV channels! But last evening, I felt there is absolutely nothing worth watching! What a sad plight L However, from the balcony when I looked out, I could see TV screens flickering in all the houses opposite to ours! I wondered, “What the hell are these people watching?!”

And so, once again I started flipping the channels!

Channel 1:

Palatial house. Gorgeously dressed ladies with ornaments decked up all over - on their ears, forehead, hands, neck and fingers and where not?! But, ask me what they are doing? One of them is sautéing onion, the other – kneading dough while the third with a wicked look, is lazily sitting on a bar stool in the kitchen.

Lady 1 – We are losing it all! We should immediately plan something against her.
Lady 2 – Nahi Didi... That is wrong.
Lady 3 – You, shut up! Bhabi… Lets us add poison to her milk and kill that bitch tonight…!

My Understanding - Murder in rich homes is as easy as gulping a banana! Also, beware of ladies in pink flashy lipsticks and those having tattoos pierced at ‘vantage’ points. In Hindi soaps, they are venomous! But, if the lady is soft spoken and has mild make-up, she is not eligible to be the bad girl!

Next:
A totally shabby guy in saffron, seated on a podium. Hundreds of people keenly listening to his absolute nonsense! He speaks, “…and India doesn’t need hospitals. All we need in this country is lots of tulsi plants!”
Had I been there, I would have asked him, “Sir… it’s been how long since you took bath?!”

Next:

The anchor slightly showing off her cleavage and majorly displaying her thunder thighs, speaks in Tamil to the caller, “…okie, why do you like dosa so much?”
“Because, my lover’s favorite is dosa”
“Oh… how touching! This is true love! So, which song do you want us to play for him?”
“After playing this song, also please tell that he is a part of my soul; Let the whole world know how deeply we are in love!”
The anchor to the viewers (emotions dripping), “Bharat Mata ki Jai. Such pure love - you can find only in India. That is why in the recent past, a lot of Americans are getting married to Indians!

What was her point? “Americans marry Indians to eat dosa”?!

Next:

A college canteen which resembles the lobby of a star hotel. Pizza and burgers are served like chai and vada! A boy is playing drums in the middle, while rest of the guys (in leather jackets) and (scantily dressed) girls cheer for him! …while nobody even observes this somebody in a corner, kissing somebody!!

Interested in getting admission to this college?! Well, please contact ‘Sahara Pariwar’! J

Next:

Judge 1: You have sung it very well. It was very soothing! Just that you need to improve your Thala, Raga and Bhava! Otherwise, you are just perfect! All the best!
Judge 2: The ‘saadanams’ should be improvised. On the whole, good rendering!
Judge 3: Sorry to say Monu, this time, you have disappointed me big time! If you continue this way, I don’t think you will reach anywhere!

The participant starts crying. We see it in black & white, sepia and in slow motion!

The anchor, who is dressed like to walk the ramp at Femina Miss India Contest, hugs the participant and continues, “Not to worry… Life has both happiness and sadness. When mixed in so-and-so proportion, it is called ‘existence’. Also, as you know, the earth is round and we are just players who enact our part and one day should leave the stage…”.

Stupid audience, “Wow… such a well-read girl” J

Next:

Graphics flashing,

India

and

Pakistan

maps zooms in and out, it read: Is Sania Mirza now a Pakistani in Indian Skin? …followed by the message, “Watch Prime Time discussion, tonight at 8!”

Scroll news – Ritesh Deshmukh might fall in love with Jenilia D’souza. Question for the viewers, “Are there chances for them to get married? Please send your answers - A (for yes) or B (for no) to 5544”.

News reader: In other news, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and American President Barack Obama met to sign…

Alas… who is interested in this poor non-happening Sardarji. We want some spice!!!

Next

I turned off the TV and went to bed.

Pink-tronics

2010-04-27T01:40:00.000-07:00

I heard my neighbor’s kid, a Class 4 boy making fun of his grand dad, “Have you gone nuts?! How could you even think of getting this pink shirt for me? Do you think I am a gay?”
And grandpa lovingly, “Beta… But, what is wrong? This will suit you very well”
Boy at his disappointed grandpa, “Dada… For your kind information, boys wear pink only if they are gays and at least till now, I am not one!”
Surprisingly and innocently, Dada, “My Lord Balaji...!! Even you know what it means?!”
He continues like a master, “Dadaji… I know everything! J If I wear pink, girls will think I am not interested in them! Why unnecessary confusions!?”
Dada rolling his eyes and raising his hand at the kid, “I will crack your butt if you talk this way!”
Brat with a chuckle, “Hahaha… Didn’t you know, like everybody I am already born with a cracked butt! And so, you need not take pains to do that again! ;)
Poor Dadaji, “Hare Rama… Hare Krishna”
Boy, “Yes… that is better for you!”

My Dear Friends, Any comments?!

After all, Aapka number bhi ayega - In less or more than three decades! J

Just a pinch of lal-mirchi added; otherwise the flavor is original!

IPL Season 4

2010-04-20T23:36:00.000-07:00

April has been an exciting and indeed a happening month! Sania Mirza wore her mom’s 25 years old saree and got married to Shoaib Malik. Before the media cameras could peep into her bedroom, the off-field cricketing war began. Thank God… the newly-wed couple thus got spared!

The spot lights shifted to Tharoor! Poor thing took a long time to realize that it is a crime in India to be outspoken, tweet, win respect of the people or even support an IPL bid! Anyways, to spice up the front pages and editorials of newspapers, the Twenty-Twenty hi-masala game in on…! But, will “Team Cochin Coconuts” ever become a reality?! ...that is my worry! ;)

The IPL controversy has heated up so much that volcanoes even in Iceland started erupting! To evade any further natural calamities, the hero of all times, Lalu Darlu came up with the best solution - nationalize IPL! Tang-Ta-Taaaang!

Oh My God… If Lalu’s dream comes true, can you imagine the state of IPL Season Four?

The members will be summoned to the parliament to discuss IPL. Day 1 – Opposition will walk out. Day 2 – Ruling Party will create a chaos. Day 3 – Somehow they will manage to talk for some time.

Anticipated Highlights:
Lalu will want a team from Bihar, Mamta Banejee will replace Lalit Modi by a Dalit Modi and there will be reservation in every team based on caste and annual income of the players. You think only Dhoni and Yuvraj should make crores?! After all we are a democracy! Karunanidhi will declare Rajni Kanth to be the Super-Star of the Super-Kings, Jayalalitha will deny entry to Sri Lankan players, ministers who speak for Pakistani players will be made to resign, commentaries will be in Tamil, Kannada, Hindi, Bengali, Punjabi and Marati. So poor Ravi Shastri and Harsha Bhogle will lose their jobs! I think Sidhu will somehow manage! Cheer leaders will perform Bhartnatyam, Kathak, Odissi, Mohiniyattam… depending on their home team. Instead of zoo-zoo and youngistan ads, we will see more of family planning campaigns. While zapping channels, didn't you stumble upon Doordarshan ads? Sonia Gandhi will fight to make Rahul Gandhi the IPL Commissioner and all her chamchas in the party will happily agree to that! Who will not want to get into her good books?! The tickets will be available only at government offices and for sure, we poor cricket lovers will be forced to bribe the silly officers! Oh, what a fate!

That is when this bunch of morons will realize that most of them are totally ignorant about the game except that they can recognize a bat, ball and the stumps! …And for a politician especially, 70 years is not when they can learn something new! So, finally they unanimously will come to a conclusion - instead of T-20 Cricket, from 2011, India will stage T-20 Kabbadi!

This cricketing season – What do you have a say?

Vishu Greetings and Love to All!!

2010-04-14T21:04:00.000-07:00

Let us banish our worries and start afresh!

Wishing all… a plentiful year of joy, satisfaction, peace and prosperity J

100th Post :)

2010-04-12T00:12:00.000-07:00

What would have Tendu Bhayya felt when he hit his first century?

Exactly what I am feeling now!

How would have Tendu Bhayya celebrated?

By splashing champagne ...at Taj or Oberoi!

But, why am I glad today?

Because guys… this is my 100th blog post! J

And how did I celebrate?

This way… absolutely traditional!

Does it look inviting? J

Hunger Strike

2010-04-09T03:34:00.000-07:00

“Grrr… today too, the same old brinjal curry?”
“No; it is smashed potato …errr I think!”
“Perhaps you should swim in it to find at least a bit of a potato!”

If you were (are) a hostel being, umpteen number of times, you would have had the above conversation with your friends! The best days of my college life were supplemented by the most atrocious food ever! Memories of the infamous dining hall bring nightmares to me even today! There were days when I was served leftover rice, sour curd and potato chips for dinner! ...and all I could do then was to weep, thinking of mom-cooked food!

Once, when we felt that the quality of food was deteriorating from bad to worse, we decided to protest! Few of our Tibetian friends suggested that we will go on hunger strike. Yes… not a bad idea, I felt. After all, it was about skipping just one dinner …and for a good cause! I thought, “Before getting back to the hostel in the evening, I shall refill my stomach from college canteen so that it will not wail in the middle of the night!”

Few of us, the most concerned citizens of the hostel thought, discussed, ideated, planned and finally chose the next Saturday to be the “Go-Hungry Day!” Why Saturday?? …because it was on Saturdays that we get the so-called chapattis which were more like flying discs! We could actually play Frisbee with them! Not at all an exaggeration!!

My most enthusiastic Tibetian friends went from room to room campaigning against bad food, thus promoting the protest! Felt really proud to have extremely powerful influencers amongst us! Who knows... in future we might see them stay hungry for farmers in Andra Pradesh or for students in North East! J

However, to our utmost shock, we were welcomed to the mess hall on Saturday evening by the aroma of masala-dosa and variety chutneys! None of us could believe our eyes nor nose! "Huh?! Bloody spies inside the hostel to ruin our plan??!" Look at how we poor souls were being bribed! But to be very frank, those dosas were just too inviting! At the end of the day, we all are just emotional and expressive human beings! ;)

Yet, we decided to be very firm and tried hard to not get carried away by any of these cheap tricks! But, even before we could make our point clear, the warden announced, “Special masala-dosas are being served in the mess today. Mind you - this is just a onetime affair!”

These bloody people exactly know what our weaknesses are! And see… how they have dealt with it, tactfully! As I didn’t want to be a traitor, I went back to my room, fearing I might fall for the dosas! That is when I noticed post-its stuck on all the doors, which said, “Girls, due to some unexplainable reasons, the Hunger Strike Committee has decided to postpone the strike to next week. Will keep you updated. Please enjoy the dosas in the kitchen and Thanks a lot for your co-operation!”

Wow..!! It was such a great relief to see that! My taste buds made my legs run to pass on the news to everybody! And in half an hour, the dosas were emptied by the ravenous tummies in-house.

At late in the night, I heard ‘this’ girl speaking on her mobile, “…and I couldn’t resist. I thought this was the smartest thing I could do! Believe me; had loads of fun. Anyways, the idiotic girls in the hostel are blaming those poor innocent Tibetians …that too after gobbling down all the dosas! They should in fact thank me for everything! Ha haa haha…!!!”

A note to ‘this’ girl: Thank You! Yes, the dosas were indeed yummy! But, probably you don't know that amongst the spies, also live detectives!!

Past/Current hostel dwellers: Do you have any memories to share about your hostel food, hostel life and the pranks you enjoyed?

Meet a 'Total Malayalee'

2010-04-06T01:04:00.000-07:00

The rebirth of Christ was celebrated in style! Even after having ‘white’ cheerleaders to shake their bums and Bollywood girls to dance to the tune, IPL couldn’t make as much profit as the beverages department in Kerala made on Easter! Poor Jesus Christ… just like Mahabali, would have cursed himself for revisiting Kerala! …but still, every year both repeat the same mistake! J

Easter gala is over; …and it is ‘back to business’ time! One of my friends pinged me this morning.

Sj: Hello… Wassup?
Me: Wow! You alive? Thought you were somewhere in the border firing our enemies!
Sj: Just back after an alcoholic Easter.
Me: Good for you!
Sj: Nope! Bad for me… my mom found out that I drink and she decided to disown me! L
Me: Didn’t you know that there is an expiry date for secrets? You have been hiding this from her for almost a decade! By the way, how did she find out?
Sj When she served dinner, I said “Darling… after our wedding, we will follow a time table to divide the culinary work at home! Your cute little palms should remain soft forever!! Blah blah blah…” All I remember now is my mom's red rolling eyes!
Me: Lovely… so, now she knows about your girl friend too!
Sj: Bloody idiot… pacify me! Are you not my friend? Anyways I am going for a movie now!
Me: Huh, now?? I thought you were at work.
Sj: I have called for a hartal…
Me: What??! Strike in Bangalore?
Sj: So what? After all, we are Malayalees! We have the right to protest anywhere …even against NASA! Perhaps they are not aware… we Mallus have got the inherent skills to make a functioning object totally dysfunctional!
Me: Who? You mean NASA is not aware?! I thought this protest is this against your mom.
Sj: Shut Up! Got my appraisal letter this morning. With the hike I am given, all what I can do is buy a mutton biriyani and a lime soda! …that too, only if Labeeb Chettan remains kind enough to not hike the biriyani prices! Hence this is how I have decided to convey my displeasure to my boss!
Me: You are “The Malayalee of the Year”! Great going, my dear friend! J

Tata to B’lore!

2010-04-01T03:20:00.000-07:00

This week has been indeed happening! Guess what guys? I am moving out of Bangalore! Deeply and madly I am in love with the city …and so, it is really hard to think of relocating, even though it is only till end of this year!

I will be posted in Lahore to learn communication practices in Pakistan. It was definitely a difficult task to take a call as this was not forced on me …but frankly, I was bribed ...and I fell for it!!

I will be staying next to Khalid Hosseini’s aunt’s house in Lahore. Apparently, Khalid is now in Lahore to write his third book. By the time he finishes his work, I am sure we will make good friends and all of you will get to see my name in the Acknowledgment Page, “ A hundred thanks to my dearest friend Shalini, who has been the motivation to write this novel. I am sad that I didn’t know her for so long!” And you readers can console him, "So what Khalid, Better late than never...!!"

Oh, such lovely days are waiting for me and thus I decided to pack my bags for Pakistan! Friends, see you there on the 'acknowledgment page'!

BTW, Happy B’day to all of you born on April 1^st! J

Born in the early 80s? I voice for you!

2010-03-29T02:01:00.000-07:00

I grew up listening to childhood tales of my parents and grandparents. Very often, my grand mom used to say, “You are so lucky to be born amidst all the comforts. Yet, an irresponsible little creature you are… did you know that even on my wedding day, I walked kilometers to reach home?!” And I used to wonder, “Just that you were unfortunate to be born in a non-Maruti & Fiat era, unlike me. But, what is my fault in it?” My parents however, were better as they had a decorated ambassador car to take them home on their wedding day. So, they couldn’t crib much on the same. But, don’t think that they were out of ideas to emotionally blackmail us; my dad and mom have narrated the same ‘cycling uphill and downhill’ to school story, at least a thousand times! My mother would say, “You have ironed uniform, polished shoes, yummy breakfast and school bus waiting for you. In spite of all the luxury, you are always late! Are you not ashamed?” Then, she would continue, “When I was a kid….” And that used to be the motivation to get ready soon and rush to school…!!

I have promised myself several times that I will not torture the next generation with my hardships purana!

But… But… Now that I have crossed the silver jubilee of life, looking at teenagers, I realize that growing up is so easy for them; every damn thing is at their finger tips, just a mouse click away! I hate to say, but I cannot help it, “Bloody hell… you guys have got the best while we had to struggle to grow up!”

We did not have video CDs to learn Humpy Dumpty and Chubby Cheeks. To watch Tom and Jerry for half an hour, we waited for Sunday evenings. We eagerly looked forward to weekly Mahabharata, Chitrahar & Malgudi Days on Doordarshan. And if missed, no Youtube existed for re-telecast! When I had to know about tropical rain forests, I went to the library, picked book by book, flipped page by page, read line by line to gather information. And today, through google, so quickly and effortlessly, everything is served on their platter! I had waited for hours for my friends under the banyan tree near our school, not knowing where they were; while today SMS speak minds even before the memo is sent to their brain! We had only stamps and inland letters to keep in touch; while today, boys & girls are available on emails, facebook and twitter round the clock! Nobody knew what I did on a holiday, while today the whole world knows what one is up to! “Woke up late; stomach upset. Oh, what a terrible Saturday Morning!”, reads many gtalk status! To choreograph a dance performance, we had to eject, play, rewind, play, stop, fast forward and play cassettes. To find the track, we used to visit every possible music store in town. And today, they sleep on ipods and downloaded MP3s! We grew up playing ludo, caroms and snakes & ladders while these brats are glued to X-Box!

If I don’t stop here, the list is only gonna get longer! Hmmm …and for sure, my parents and grandparents were definitely better; they did not crib so much!!!!

However, even though we were born before the internet revolution, Better late than never… we don’t anyways belong to the computer-ignorant generation! Hence, the moral of the story is, “Compare yourself with the less-fortunate ones to become more content in life!” So, I pacify myself, “My poor granny… she died even without having an orkut profile …while I have a blog too!”

So, do you wanna share with us, any tales inherited from your parents or ancestors?

My First Professional Triumph

2010-03-23T22:41:00.000-07:00

…continuing

I was in love with almost everything in the office – the spiral stair case, the bright red and orange walls, creatively designed visiting cards, the messed-up table around which we sit and pretend that we work too hard, the caffeine corner and of course my work & interesting people at work! Talking about my colleagues – each of them represented each district in Kerala! The ten of us hailed from different places in between Kasargod and Trivandrum! How much more cosmopolitan can it get???

One fine day, I was called to the Big Boss’s cabin for a discussion.

Sandeep – I have some really challenging work for you.
Me – Wow… I love challenges (In my mind – what the hell is it going to be?!)
Sandeep – Sheik Khalid is visiting our office on Thursday.
Me – Oh, the cute guy, right?
Sandeep – Maybe cute; but he is a terror for sure!
Me – Is it? (Guys are so jealous of other good looking guys!)
Sandeep – We have an art work getting ready. Study it well and you are going to present it to Khalid to get his approval for the project!
Me – Wow… Really? I don’t believe this! I am so excited…
Sandeep – Just a reminder, this dude is not good at English.
Me – What the hell…! You expect me to learn Arabic in two days to do the convincing, flattering, blabbering, etc and then magically get the approval?
Sandeep – Not exactly… He however understands English; just that he doesn’t speak.
Me – Sounds so simple - I speak English, He listens, He replies in Arabic and I assume in Malayalam??!!
Sandeep – Come on; be brave enough to accept challenges!
Me – Okie, I shall give it a try, will give my best! (Has this guy gone out of his senses?!)

However, I was really thrilled, though I was surprised that he assigned the task to me in spite of me being the youngest and the least experienced of the lot!

Fancy Thursday:

Like a enthusiastic first bencher, I keenly prepared for the presentation. …and waited for the Most Awaited Guy of the day. And there he comes …a tall handsome young guy in a white nighty! Technically though a nighty, it is apparently called a ‘thoub’. He wore expensive sun glasses and a smart pair of sandals. Those were the only things to be seen, the rest were hidden inside his nighty. I thought, “What an innovative attire; these guys need not spend much on accessories like we do! All they need is a packet of Tide!”

As we walked to the conference room, he looked around and asked, “Oh, pandu ee chomaru neela aayirunnille?! Eppo choppu aakki?” (Read in ‘Malappuram’ Malayalam – Weren’t these walls in blue before, when did you get them repainted to red?)

My eyes literally popped out! “Poor thing… what a fate!”, I thought… “With so many Malayalis in the gelf, he would have realized that the easiest thing to do to move on in Dubai is to learn Malayalam. Or else, he would have got majorly tricked by a smart Mallu that he got forced to learn the language!”

Coming to our presentation; it went on very well in my mother tongue and so no room was given for any misunderstandings. And… at the end of it, we won the deal…! In fact, it was my first satisfying professional achievement in life! J

Now, if you are wondering about Sheik Khalid… this guy’s uppa and uppappa (dad and grand dad) belonged to Malappuram in Kerala; but worked for the Royal Family in Dubai for many years. But our smart Khalid decided to be a Roman while in Rome; hence he became a Sheik in the gelf!!

Movie loving Malayalees - Reminded of 'Gafoor ka Dosth'?! J

…only later in life I realized, the creative industry in the world is dominated by Men and Women from God’s Own Country!

My First Job

2010-03-19T22:05:00.000-07:00

I still remember the day my post graduation results were out! I was the happiest girl on earth. I could feel my dreams fetching wings and desires becoming more fancy & colorful. No more exams, assignments, viva and thesis submission! Wow… I was sure; the world definitely would be a more peaceful place! I laid down my plans and I was so eager to see me achieve my aspirations! J

I reached Dubai in few weeks and started job hunt. I thought the media companies in the Middle East were waiting for my arrival so that the industry will get rejuvenated. I filtered out the companies based on my priorities. All I wanted was
- deeply satisfying job (no compromise on this!)
- high flying salary (in spite of being a fresher just out of college; Wah.. what confidence!)
- company to be located close to home (how I hate the traffic in Dubai)
- management which will not demand formal-wear to work (I love myself in jeans)
- to not have elderly-serious people as my colleagues (I thought handling generation-gap is a big deal)
- tamil vegetarian restaurants close to office (crispy dosas, variety chutney and filter coffee are my weaknesses)
- my coworkers to be from any part of the world, but not from Kerala (Hey… nothing against Malayalis; I was looking forward to a cosmopolitan community at least at work place!)

Days passed, weeks passed. But nobody replied to my job applications! “Huh? Doesn’t at least one of them need my valuable service?”, I wondered. I stopped the filtering activity and started sending out my CV left, right and centre – to every soul in Dubai! I considered ‘Appointments Supplement’ of the newspaper to be the Gita, Bible and Quran! Whenever I go past a tall building, I would question, “Madam/Sir… such a huge office, plenty of space… all I am asking for is just a corner of a table, one computer and one chair (preferably revolving)!”

Once, I applied for the post of ‘Creative Director’ at an advertisement agency. However, it demanded 12 years of experience. “Grrr… If I had 12 years of experience, will I be stationed religiously before appointments page like this?” And what was I doing 12 years back? …I was in 6-th standard, where I spent days watching Doordarsan, fighting with my brother, studying, not studying and lazing around! I wished, “What if they call me for the interview and miraculously realize that I am THE one who would take their company to heights?! You see… the probability is never zero!”

To my surprise, I was called for the interview. Now, looking forward to the miracle to happen! Keeping my fingers crossed …and twisted!

D Day: Interview Day

I reached their office, which was not too far away from home (demands getting satisfied already?). I met the Creative Head, whose computer had Angelina Jolie’s wall paper. I thought, “Wow, not bad… very sporty folks around! …n this guy will be having Mother Mary’s pic as desktop background on his home PC. Hmmm, Kochu Kallan!!” Though few strands of white hair popped out from his almost bald head, he looked smart and spoke well too. With a chuckle, I thought, “If I become the Creative Director, maybe I will have to manage this Jolie fan!” When I was about to leave his cabin, I noticed his family pic in which his wife seemed to be the epitome of an ‘Achayathi’ (Mallu Christian) from Kanjirappally! “Oh no… Malayalees..! Will you not leave me ever in my life?!”

Then, I met another guy, whose cabin was bigger than the Jolie fan’s. Hence I guessed that he should be the boss’s boss, The Big Boss of the company! With a smile, he began to speak, “Well Shalini… When I saw your application, I was really curious to know who this confident young girl is, who applied for the post of Creative Director! Blah blah blah…! Anyways, nice meeting you. J”

I got so furious… in fact wild…!!! I replied, “Sorry to say, it was not at all great to meet you, as you bothered me needlessly. Good Bye!” I could feel my voice crack as I felt I was being made a fool!

I reached home with soaring disappointment and was narrating the bitter experiences to my mom. I was explaining how bad he is to look at, how bad he is at conversing and how bad his dress sense was!

…while my mobile rang.

“Hello, This is Sandeep* from H2O* Media. Am I speaking to Shalini?” (* names changed)
“Yes, Which Sandeep?” I thought, why is this bugger calling me again?
“…with whom you felt is not great to talk to, couple of minutes ago!”
“Oh My God…! In fact, I did not mean that…”
“Anyways, we have decided to hire you… definitely not as Creative Director, but as Junior Copy Writer.”
“J J J J J J”
“If you are interested, please come to our office tomorrow to accept the offer.”
“Oh, Thank You so much… Thanks a ton!!!”

To my mom, “Amma… I think he is not that bad as I thought!” ;)
And in two weeks, I joined H2O Media, a place which I will never forget in life!

…to be continued

Exclusively for Y2K Chinmayans!

2010-03-17T00:48:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, we were in brown & white and canvas shoes. We lived in it for 14 years! But today, colorful sleeveless tops & jeans and sneakers have invaded our lives! However, my smiles are widest at the thought of those good old days!

Ten years back, we discussed scoring marks in exams and considered partying at Appoos. Today, we sip coffee from the next door Coffee Day and talk more about coding and job-hopping. …but sharing those chocolaty ice creams bought by pooling money was more joyful than fussing over hyped-up cappuccino. Isn’t it?

Those days, we were so tensed about getting answer papers signed by our parents. Today, we are worried about rising toor-dal and petrol prices. Now I realize – how silly I was then; those were not problems at all…!!

Even an unexpected candy could excite us then; but today, hardly we are content with what we have! And I’m still figuring out, what I really want in life!

A decade back, we were friends celebrating school life, making our days a carnival! Today we are wives or husbands or mommies or dads or boyfriends or girlfriends or fiancés. But nothing has ever done any harm to our friendship; the ship still sails happily!

Yeah; one more post on friendship…!! How can I not record this? …cos this Saturday was so special, in fact one of the most beautiful days so far this year!

About twenty of my batch mates in school got together at a restaurant in Bangalore and we let ourselves forget the present and go back in time, to those wonderful years of the past!! We held onto the things we treasure a lot, the things which we never want to lose – memories!

Life’s little joys are magical at times. It could easily make you the happiest being on earth! …like at one point in life, we found happiness and excitement in running around the big mango tree, cheering for Hamsa Geeth, Rag, Nad and Dwani, laughing at the one who got caught red-handed while peeping into neighbor’s test paper, crushing pappads in the canteen amidst the aroma of sambar, holding back the giggle listening to vice-principal’s gyan at morning assembly, celebrating birthdays giving coffee-toffees and bondas to friends, admiring the flower carpets during Onam celebrations followed by enjoying the delicious kheer served …and my list goes on and on and on…! Oh, those days were so lovely!

When we met again, we recalled all those wonderful moments and also shared what each of us accomplished in the last ten years! Love stories came from the most unexpected guys. Like this fellow - once a silent back bencher, narrated his eventful tale where he at last won the love & compassion of his parents and the girl’s family after much drama and hungama! Cheers and kudos to you, my dear buddy, on behalf of all of us! J I am indeed overjoyed to know that all of us are doing well personally and professionally. We have engineers, doctors, businessmen, entrepreneurs, writers, finance & marketing professionals …you name it and we have him/her amongst us! What more can selfless friends ask for?!

Friends, we really rock!! Let’s continue to be the same forever …and ever and ever! J
Keep Smiling…!!

Are you also a proud Chinmayan? Then… post in your thoughts here about memories of school life. Even if you are not, you are always welcome to share your mind! J

When a name actually matters…

2010-03-12T02:14:00.000-08:00

Isn’t amazing to see Chinese folks eat noodles? Indeed exceptional these people are; rather interestingly peculiar!! When you can comfortably and neatly handle it with a fork, why do you want to make ‘even eating’ look complicated by using chopsticks? God… what all Chinese kids go through – they not only have to get potty trained, but also should get chopstick trained!!

Let me come to the point; have you ever tried to find out the similarities between Chinese and Malayalis? Well, here is my finding - Apart from both being ruled by the left, they have really long tongue twister names! …like Lamonjanae Tinwing Shosha and Melepparambil Kunhikannan Nayanar.

Now, this happened few years back. At an event hosted by our company where the invitees were from China and India, we were all getting introduced to each other during the ice breaking session.

Passionately following ‘Athiti Devo Bhava’, we let our neighbors get started off...

“I am Zhenbang-Feng-Mei; but you may call me Zef.”
The next person, “I am Chijian-Shaozu; you may call me Chizu.”
Next, “Hi, I am Wang-Yungching-Chin, my friends call me Wang Chin.”

…while our friend Mr. Navaneethakrishnan Balagopapalan who hails from Ottappalam is wondering from the corner of the room, “Oh My God… I am the first to go amongst desis. And I do not have a duplicate name like them. Is it mandatory to have a backup, even for our own name? How come my history teacher never taught me that China not only has the Great Wall but Chinese also have two names? Even otherwise, they don’t teach what actually is required in life! Grrr…!!! Now, should I tell them that my mom calls me “Thakkudu”, and that is my nick name?”

Navaneethakrishnan started foreseeing and analyzing the situation in his head. Finally he arrived at the conclusion - Thakkudu is old-fashioned and so, girls may find it funny! He definitely has a point. After all, why should a name be the villain between hot chicks and our poor Thakkudu, right?

He smartly and confidently said, “Hello my dear friends from India and China… I am Navaneethakrishnan Balagopapalan. However, I am known as "November". You may also call me so...”

Vijay, Anand, Vidya, Geetha, Rajan, Rahul, Rajeev, Sajeev, Vinay, Vinod…. All desis gathered in the room curiously looked at him, to make sure Navaneethakrishnan Balagopapalan is actually not a Chinese in disguise!

Bangaloreans - Take Monday off and enjoy the loooong weekend! :)

Ugadi Aashamsakalu in advance!

Being Pampered…

2010-03-04T01:41:00.000-08:00

The word friend stands apart beyond the definition; it is a beautiful poem in itself, which one would love to listen again and again …and again! How many posts I have written about friendship… but still my pen is fervent about writing more on my friends and the closeness I share with them!

It doesn’t take much to make me smile, to take my excitement quotient out of the roof! The coolest and most wonderful folks I have around, who are best at it, who adds flavor to my days thus making my life lovely and happening!

Yesterday was one such special day when I was so joyful for no specific reasons. Felt I totally belong to Karan Johar; I was superlatively happy that I cannot exaggerate my feelings further! I realized it was those few phone calls and emails that made it “D-day” of the week!

I wrote, “You are the Darling-est of all..!!”
She replied, “Tell me something which I don’t know!!!”
And our silly conversation continued…

By the way, I swear we are not lesbians; you corrupt mind – if that is what your doubt is!! I am a happily married girl, who is interested in neither girls, nor guys! J Ahem ahem… If I am to sound like a true Bharatiya Nari, my “Swami” is the Sun and I am a planet revolving around. And in this galaxy, there is just the sun and one planet! J

I believe love and affection deserves to be expressed and it is unfair and rude to hide it under the worthless mask of ego and pretense. Otherwise, why do you think our heroes are compelled to eat double the portion of ginger chicken and triple omelets? Simple; to lift (and run too!) heroines like Kavya & Asin & Khushboo and express how much they are being loved! After all, who would want to live with an expressionless strict husband or an unreadable stern wife??!!

I wrapped up the day topping up my cheerfulness; spoke to this guy who is adorable, interesting and an absolute darling! …with whom one can talk for hours together on anything under the sun! He is incredibly talented and popular too! And most importantly, My Good Friend! J If you are wondering who this good friend is; well... he could be the college dude, or the good boy next door, perhaps the villian in thick meesha or may be you could even spot him somewhere in royal Rajastani attire!

Disclaimer - This post is just my distorted thoughts; this is not written as a result of watching “Vinnaithandi Varuvaya”! J I really don’t know how the post took this shape! When I started writing, the intent was something else. Hmm, the wonder those little joys did to me!!

FYI – the ‘darling-est of all’ is visiting me next to next weekend! …n so I smile!! J

Ordeal at Client Office

2010-02-26T00:58:00.000-08:00

Just another day at work, just another client meeting! The only thing which excited me that day was the team lunch at South-Indies after the so-called brain storming session. The magic about these kinds of meetings is that even the most complicated problems on earth get solved if you talk jargons sitting around a table flashing power point presentations! Please note - Quality of the solution is directly proportional to the fanciness of the slides shared! So easily we draw conclusions and arrive at the so-called best decisions! Oh... how I wish, if decision making in life was as simple as that!

However, on this particular day, there was something else in store for me. …something more fancy than the usual pie charts and bar graphs that pops up and fades away on the wall!

I was waiting at the lobby to meet this guy for the first time, the Communications Manager of ‘so-&-so’ company. FYI, ‘so-&-so’ is one of world’s largest makers of laptops and desktops! I was hoping the guy to be good looking; you see - there should be some motivation on a Friday morning to participate in a discussion actively!

I had 10 more minutes, hence I decided to utilize the time to visit the rest room. I finished the planned activity; but to my horror, I discovered that I got locked inside! I looked around… except for a dust bin, there was nothing else in the tiny stupid room which I could use to try to open the door. Now I know why most of the girls carry spanners and screw drivers in their handbags; not only lip sticks and eye liners! But, I had no gadgets with me and to add to the misery, unfortunate me had gotten inside the visitors’ rest room. Hence I saw chances of somebody coming in soon almost close to nil. I looked at my watch… God, the good-looking (I wish…!) manager would be waiting for me! How nice, if all the loos in the world had emergency alarms!

I thought, "Should I call my boss and inform that I cannot meet the client as I got trapped in an inaccessible zone?!" But, how could he pull me out of the mess? I scrolled through the contacts on my mobile and paused at ‘so&so manager’. “God, What a fate… Should this really be the first thing to discuss face-to-face?”, I couldn’t have been in a more embarrassing situation!!

I dialed his number, thinking “Wish he gets relocated to the US tonight itself, so that I need not interact with him ever after!”

“Hello Shalini… Are you still on your way? I am waiting at the lobby”.

“Hey, Hi… Very Good Morning. How you doing?” Daivame… how do I tell him?!

“Good morning! I am going good. And you?”

“Actually, I am not… I…”

“Oh… not keeping well?”

Idiot, will you let me speak? “No no… I am absolutely fine! But, I got trapped inside your rest room”

“What?! You inside MY rest room?”

Dumbo! What will I do in your toilet? “I mean… here, inside your office rest room near the lobby. Unless you rescue me, I don’t think I will be able to join the discussion”

“Oh no… I am so sorry. I shall make the arrangements to get you out!”

In few minutes, I was set free; I felt sorry for all the prisoners in Tihar and Kannur Jail! Thanks to the mobile revolution! Else, I would have compelled myself to become a James-Bondi, that too inside a toilet fighting against the door!

I met the not-so-good looking manager; for the next five minutes he apologized to me on behalf of ‘so&so’. Later, he introduced me to rest of his teammates. Perhaps, he would have wanted to say, “Meet Shalini Surendran, the girl whom I rescued from the rest room!!"

After the discussion, the floor was open to share “Take Aways”. I almost said, “In future, you may or may not use computers; but definitely you will use toilets! Hence I STRONGLY think there are more important things to be done in this company than innovation on desktops and laptops!”

Like most times, finally the twist in the tale – This is my ex-colleague’s experience! About her in short – She is from the land of Rasgullas!

Folks, enjoy your weekend! See that you don't get trapped in rest rooms in cinema halls or restaurants! ;)

Tweeting cannot get more dramatic!

2010-02-23T23:23:00.000-08:00

Condolences to all those who lost their lives and dear ones in the fire that broke out in Carlton Towers this evening. It was indeed miserable to see people jump from top floors only to lose their lives! Oh… it cannot get worse! L

I have no idea what I would have done if I was one among the hundreds who got trapped inside! But definitely, I would not have changed my face book status to, “Guys… Guess what? This building is under fire. Oh, I am feeling hot and this smoke is spoiling my new salwar suit!”

Cheers to this guy who was tweeting when he was not sure if he is going to die or get saved! …if he will go home after a chai with his friends or by an ambulance!

This guy totally resembles one of those Bollywood heroes, who runs to his girl friend when he is almost thrashed and killed by the villain. …the kind of hero drenched in blood, who pulls out a duppatta from his pants pocket and howls at the heroine, “At least now my Jaan, I have to reveal the secret - I am the same old boy who flicked and hid your lal-dupatta. Before I die, I think I should give it back to you saying SORRY; here it is…!!"

The girl might have been fair, unfair or even more dramatic to the hero on-screen. However, to our joy, the off-screen tale has a happy ending! Our tweet'er hero cycled home safe to become a champion over-night! He, his tweets and photographs clicked in between the accident are everywhere - on news channels, portals, newspapers, blogs and where not??!!!

…and here are the tweets from the ~~Reel~~ Real Hero:

Carlton Towers is burning and six of us are trapped inside. The fire's above but there's smoke everywhere. Saw people jump to their death.

Don't call me folks, you can't help. Will keep posting.
Rescue ladder only reaches the fourth floor. We're on the fifth.
A Corner House treat to whoever gets a picture of me looking out of the window. Seriously, people, there's no need to panic. Bad for you.
Heard it's not a fire, just an electric short-circuit. Only smoke (itself quite dangerous).
Massive crowd outside. This must have choked traffic for kilometres around.
Cycling home. Won't take calls. Please feel free to use my pictures as needed.
I'm home safe now.

I seriously admire you, Mr.Cool Head..!! J

Jai Ho!

2010-02-22T23:09:00.000-08:00

Every night, we sleep under the cover of peacefulness because of the Jawans who watch for intruders and parasites! Yet…

There is no applause

When a solider returns from duty.
There is only remembrance
When he comes back in a coffin, wrapped in tricolor!

Here I salute each one of you, with gratitude and immense respect!

Don’t know why I feel extremely extremely patriotic today!

Beware; MCPs in Town!

2010-02-18T00:36:00.000-08:00

You agree it or not, this definitely is a man’s world! We live amongst a bunch of M.C.Ps - absolute Male Chauvinist Pigs! I swear, I am neither a feminist, nor I hate men. In fact, three of the four most important people in my life are men and they don’t belong to this category of which I am talking about!

Today, I got to know of this person, whom not even by mistake I want to meet in my life. Let me call him Mr. MCP. This guy received a wedding invite from a distant relative of his. The invite read this way,

Dear Mrs Mariam and Family,
We request the honor of your presence at the marriage of our daughter…..

Mr. MCP resent the invite to the sender adding this note:

Hello Mr.Joseph,

For your kind information, I am the head of the family and not my wife Mariam. She is just my wife! If you really want us to attend your daughter’s wedding, please send the invite once again to me, ie to the person who runs the family.

Thank You,
MCP.

Guys, can you actually believe that somebody did this just because he felt his wife was given more importance than him? Such an insecure creature he is who craves for and demands superiority. And he shamelessly announced, “She is JUST my wife”. Does he mean that women in general are just passive objects not worthy of attention that they don’t even deserve to be addressed in a wedding invite?

Anyways, nothing much I could do about it other than writing this blog post and feeling sorry for his wife and daughters. I don't need to worry about his female friends cos for sure he will not be having any! You see, for obvious reasons!!

I remind myself every second of how fortunate I am, for being My Dad’s daughter, My Brother’s Sister, My Husband's Wife and My Friends’ friend. I am truly blessed…

Anybody who passes by this blog post - what message do you have for such M.C.Ps who are in fact the ultimate losers in life?

Heights… heights of what?!

2010-02-15T02:12:00.000-08:00

What has technology done to all of us in common?

It has made us a bunch of lazy bums.

I overheard this conversation in the elevator today. ...and I felt it is worth archiving in this little space here!

Blue Shirt – Man, you were supposed to send the revised “blah blah blah” presentation to me, right?
Cow-Dung Green Shirt - Which one?
Blue Shirt – Where I asked you to shuffle the slides? I wanted the slides with tabular columns one after the other; but pie charts squeezed in b/w them!
Thinking I – Huh??!! You mean like tomato in a bread sandwich?
Cow-Dung Green Shirt - Huh… yeah, I have already sent it to you.
Blue Shirt – Oh, really?? When?
Cow-Dung Green Shirt – I guess last to last week.
Blue Shirt – Please… from now on, whenever you send an important email, please come to my cube and tell me.
Cow-Dung Green Shirt – Tell what?
Blue Shirt – …that you have sent an email and it is important!!!
Thinking I – And if it is less important, call and tell him that an email has been sent; however it is not so important!

Thinking of you, Gocha!

2010-02-12T03:52:00.000-08:00

Last evening, with just twenty rupees in my pocket, I was scanning the cafeteria menu wondering what to choose to please my taste buds! Finally, with all what I had, I picked a pastry which was of the size of a gooseberry! As I tossed it down, I was relishing that ‘once upon a time’ in my life when I was such a content being! …and I call it ‘College Days’ J

I smile at almost every day spent in the college campus. When I look back, there isn’t a single moment which I did not enjoy; there is something nice about even the bitter experiences that I tumbled upon!

…and who has witnessed almost all of these emotions we were going through? Undoubtedly the College Canteen! It is almost every last bencher’s favorite place and so is mine! J It is not just a place to eat masala dosas, but also an open arena for debates, discussions, arguments, romance, gossips, lazing, kidding and having unlimited fun – a place to add different flavors to life and grow memories of friendship …through cutlets and pepsi!

I am trying to recall that one afternoon in the canteen, when one of my friends and I laughed and laughed, till our tummies ached and we almost lost our breadth. Both of us were finishing our assignments over coffee and daal-vada, while this guy, whom we call ‘Gocha’, came running to our table.

Snatching my pen and the last bit of vada, he mocked at us saying, “Why do you waste your life finishing assignments? I am borrowing your pen for the next 2 hours. And girls… Grow up! Why don’t you engage yourself in something fruitful – like me, who is going to write my supplementary exam? You see... it is a chance to brush your learning!”
“We are not interested in growing so much! …and Idiot, it is already 2 O’ clock! Will they let you in now?”
“For my level of intelligence, three hours is not required to answer an exam. So darlings, see you in a while!”
“I salute your dripping confidence dude…!! All the best; Ayushmanbhava!!”
“Oh, Thanks sweets!”
“Pode Podee…!!!” (Malayalam to English – “Go away…!!”!)

More coffee and vadas were being served. We were immersed in our assignment business. Like he said, exactly in a while - in less than half an hour, there comes Gocha.

“Huh?! I never thought you were this intelligent to finish a 3 hours paper in just 15 minutes! You are born intelligent, Gocha!”
“You don’t need to repeat facts! Uhh… BTW, here is your pen; I might need it after 6 months. Keep it safe!”
“What happened? You saw the question paper and decided to not write it?”
“Nope… The invigilator couldn’t find my roll number in the list. That is when I came to know that it is not in ‘Marketing’ that I flunked; ‘Advertising’ was the traitor. And the exam was over yesterday! How disastrous for the university, they are not fortunate enough to read my smart advertising tips and theories!”
“They have read it once and hence u r requested to repeat again - your maha findings!"
"You bloody irresponsible brat, The Looser of the decade!!”
“Rude woman! How could you accuse me without knowing the truth? It was my room-mate bugger who gave me this false info; I trusted him so much that I did not even check my marks card...!! So, obviously, he is at fault and not me!”
“I will write a book on you Gocha!”
“For cover page photograph, use the one clicked when I grew my hair, preferably wearing sun glasses! I look really stunning in gogs! J”
":X" ":X"

Gocha… If not a book, at least I have written a blog post about you, though I know you are worth something much bigger!

BTW, Gocha got married to the love of his life, proving that untainted love goes even beyond the barriers of language and religion. He definitely is not a looser in life, which makes me smile really really wide! J

Now, do you have any canteen memories to share? The floor is open to you!!